Overcoming Barriers: How to navigate a "no"

Barrier (noun): 

1. anything built or serving to bar passage, as a railing, fence, or the like.

2. any natural bar or obstacle

3. anything that restrains or obstructs progress, access, etc.

4. a limit or boundary of any kind


We have all been told "no" before and depending on where we are mentally and emotionally, that "no" can either make us, or break us. Has it ever felt like you are taking 10 steps forward and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, BOOM, you are now taking 5 steps back? Like, what just happened here...what did I do wrong...where did I go wrong? You begin to question yourself, you blame yourself, you condemn yourself, and you even shut down sometimes. If we are being honest, anytime we are anticipating a "yes," but receive a "no," it does not feel good.


Over the years, I have heard "no," many times, academically, relationally, and spiritually and many times it has caused great pain and left me unsure of my purpose and my potential. It was not until I began to sit down and spend time with God and in His word, that I realized what He was doing in my life and through me. It is important to know that every "no," is not a bad thing. So when is a "no," a good thing:

1. when it is for our protection

2. when it will fuel growth for the next level

3. when God has something better in mind for us

If what you want or whatever you are working towards will cause you trouble, grief, pain, or anything not aligned with the will of God over your life...God will attempt to block it. Ultimately we can still proceed, however, He will try to redirect us so that we are not in harm's way.

When I reflect on my past, I have also become aware of, how some of my "no's," worked for my good. They caused me to level up, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually, and often times right around the corner from that "no," was a YES. I was being tested on my patience, my obedience, my faith and had to stop operating from a place of instant gratification and wanting things the way I wanted them, how I wanted them, when I wanted them, at that exact moment. Sometimes what we truly desire has to come with a process that will build us up, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and often times whatever we are seeking requires greater character of us. Simply put, we think we are ready when we are truly not because we have a little bit more growing to do, and a little bit more healing to do. If we fight the process it will take us longer to get to the promise. 

We want what we want, right? But what if we were willing to wait just a little while longer for what we truly desire instead of operating from pride and impatience? What if what we truly wanted was actually right around the corner from what we are settling for and rushing for? What if what God really wants for us is way better than what we truly want, (and it always is). The reward for waiting is always worth the wait. The wait might seem hard and sometimes even heavy, but the harvest will be even greater. 

Take heed...your waiting will never be in vain. If you choose to proceed, after you have gotten a solid "no," then you take the risk of bringing on unnecessary pain, grief, lack of peace, and confusion. If you have not gotten a "YES," then that means the answer is "no." Stop making choices just because it will make you happy, or bring instant gratification, which will potentially delay and derail your destiny. Your goal should not just be whatever makes YOU happy...but the daily goal is to become more HOLY (because that is where the will of God is).

Peace and blessings to you all,

Sheena M.