Overcoming Barriers: "Understanding a "no"

Barrier (noun): 

1. anything built or serving to bar passage, as a railing, fence, or the like.

2. any natural bar or obstacle

3. anything that restrains or obstructs progress, access, etc.

4. a limit or boundary of any kind


We have all been told "no" before and depending on where we are mentally and emotionally, that "no" can either make us, or break us. Has it ever felt like you are taking 10 steps forward and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, BOOM, you are now taking 5 steps back? Like, what just happened here...what did I do wrong...where did I go wrong? You begin to question yourself, you blame yourself, you condemn yourself, and you even shut down sometimes. If we are being honest, anytime we are anticipating a "yes," but receive a "no," it does not feel good.


I have heard "no," many times and in different aspects, academically, relationally, and spiritually and many times it has caused great pain or left me unsure of my purpose and my potential. It was not until I began to sit down and spend time with God and in His word, that I realized what He was doing in my life and through me. It is important to know that every "no," is not a bad thing. So when is a "no," a good thing:

1. when it is for our protection

2. when it will fuel growth for the next level

3. when God has something better in mind for us

If what you want or whatever you are working towards will cause you trouble, grief, pain, or anything not aligned with the will of God for your life...God will attempt to block it. Ultimately we can still proceed, however, He will try to redirect us so that we are not in harm's way.

When I reflect on my past, I have also become aware of, how some of my "no's," worked for my good. They caused me to level up, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually, and often times right around the corner from that "no," was a YES. I was being tested on my patience, my obedience, my faith and had to stop operating from a place of instant gratification and wanting things the way I wanted them, how I wanted them, when I wanted them, at that exact moment. Sometimes what we truly desire has to come with a process that will build us up, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and often times whatever we are seeking requires greater character of us. Simply put, we think we are ready when we are truly not because we have a little bit more growing to do, and a little bit more healing to do. If we fight the process it will take us longer to get to the promise. 

We want what we want, right? But what if we were willing to wait just a little while longer for what we truly desire instead of operating from pride and impatience? What if what we truly wanted was actually right around the corner from what we are settling for? What if what God really wants for us is way better than what we truly want, (and it always is). The reward for waiting is always worth the wait. The wait might seem hard and sometimes even heavy, but the harvest will is plentiful when you choose to wait.

Take heed...your waiting will never be in vain. If you choose to proceed, after you have gotten a solid "no," then you take the risk of bringing on unnecessary pain, grief, lack of peace, and confusion. If you have not gotten a "YES," then that means the answer is "no." Stop making choices from a place of your emotionality and start making choices from an outlook of your destiny! You are walking into a season of consecutive "Yeses!" 

Peace and blessings to you all,

Sheena M. 


"An Attitude of Gratitude" Give thanks for it ALL



As I sit here and truly reflect, I have so much to be grateful and thankful for. There are situations from my past that were designed to make me lose my mind, my peace, my sanity, but God kept me and delivered me from the snare of the enemy. I could be dead, in jail, laying in hospital bed...BUT GOD. He has managed to see me through. When there was no way, God made a way. When ends did not meet, God made a way. When I felt all alone with no where to turn, God kept me. When I was lost and wandering searching for love and looking to be rescued from the pain I felt so deep, God showed up and showered me with His unconditional love. When I was faced with oppossition and adversity, God taught me how to war. When I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, God would not let me and my weakness was made perfect in His strength. When I did not know which way to turn, God led me with His Spirit. When I lacked peace and joy, God comforted me with His word. When I took a wrong turn, God never left me or forsook me. When I was rejected by man (people), God reminded me of His protection as my loving Father. When I did not know who I could make it another day, God assured me that it would be okay because all things would work together for my good.


What are you thankful for today? In 2019, how has God shown up in your life? We can start with the fact that He woke you up THIS morning, that you have the opportunity to see another day. But seriously, when you sit back and reflect, are you in awe of God's goodness? It is so easy to take for granted the things that He does for us daily but we should make it a daily habit, a daily routine, to give thanks.

A thankful heart will supercede any negative thoughts and thought patterns. Giving thanks unto the Lord, because He is good and His love endures forever. You see, it is not about what He has done for us but it is giving thanks for who He is. What would your life look like if God had not shown up in your situation or circumstance? What would your life be like if the Source had not blessed you with resources to navigate day to day activities? This holiday season, do not lose focus of what really matters and do not lose focus of who really matters. 

Be grateful and thankful for where you are in life right now. It could always be a lot worse. 

Peace and blessings to you all,

Sheena M.


Self-Sabotage: the why behind it and ways to stop

1. What exactly is self-sabotage?

When behavior is self sabotaging it will create problems in the person's life and interfere with day to day activities and goals. Sabotage destroys or undermines something, covertly...and it is all directed toward one's self. One of the key reasons individuals self-sabotage is often due to a lack of self-esteem (feelings of worthlessness, feelings or beliefs that you do not deserve what you are trying to attain, or even self-hatred). Thoughts and feelings like these lead to negative and harmful self talk, which in return fuels your fears and self-sabotaging behaviors. "Self" sabotage is used when destructive behavior is directed towards self and is a reinforcer of negative behaviors/feelings or thoughts. It stems from anxiety, worthlessness and anger most times. 


2. Why do people sabotage themselves?