Overcoming Barriers: "Understanding a "no"

Barrier (noun): 

1. anything built or serving to bar passage, as a railing, fence, or the like.

2. any natural bar or obstacle

3. anything that restrains or obstructs progress, access, etc.

4. a limit or boundary of any kind


We have all been told "no" before and depending on where we are mentally and emotionally, that "no" can either make us, or break us. Has it ever felt like you are taking 10 steps forward and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, BOOM, you are now taking 5 steps back? Like, what just happened here...what did I do wrong...where did I go wrong? You begin to question yourself, you blame yourself, you condemn yourself, and you even shut down sometimes. If we are being honest, anytime we are anticipating a "yes," but receive a "no," it does not feel good.


I have heard "no," many times and in different aspects, academically, relationally, and spiritually and many times it has caused great pain or left me unsure of my purpose and my potential. It was not until I began to sit down and spend time with God and in His word, that I realized what He was doing in my life and through me. It is important to know that every "no," is not a bad thing. So when is a "no," a good thing:

1. when it is for our protection

2. when it will fuel growth for the next level

3. when God has something better in mind for us

If what you want or whatever you are working towards will cause you trouble, grief, pain, or anything not aligned with the will of God for your life...God will attempt to block it. Ultimately we can still proceed, however, He will try to redirect us so that we are not in harm's way.

When I reflect on my past, I have also become aware of, how some of my "no's," worked for my good. They caused me to level up, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually, and often times right around the corner from that "no," was a YES. I was being tested on my patience, my obedience, my faith and had to stop operating from a place of instant gratification and wanting things the way I wanted them, how I wanted them, when I wanted them, at that exact moment. Sometimes what we truly desire has to come with a process that will build us up, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and often times whatever we are seeking requires greater character of us. Simply put, we think we are ready when we are truly not because we have a little bit more growing to do, and a little bit more healing to do. If we fight the process it will take us longer to get to the promise. 

We want what we want, right? But what if we were willing to wait just a little while longer for what we truly desire instead of operating from pride and impatience? What if what we truly wanted was actually right around the corner from what we are settling for? What if what God really wants for us is way better than what we truly want, (and it always is). The reward for waiting is always worth the wait. The wait might seem hard and sometimes even heavy, but the harvest will is plentiful when you choose to wait.

Take heed...your waiting will never be in vain. If you choose to proceed, after you have gotten a solid "no," then you take the risk of bringing on unnecessary pain, grief, lack of peace, and confusion. If you have not gotten a "YES," then that means the answer is "no." Stop making choices from a place of your emotionality and start making choices from an outlook of your destiny! You are walking into a season of consecutive "Yeses!" 

Peace and blessings to you all,

Sheena M. 


"An Attitude of Gratitude" Give thanks for it ALL



As I sit here and truly reflect, I have so much to be grateful and thankful for. There are situations from my past that were designed to make me lose my mind, my peace, my sanity, but God kept me and delivered me from the snare of the enemy. I could be dead, in jail, laying in hospital bed...BUT GOD. He has managed to see me through. When there was no way, God made a way. When ends did not meet, God made a way. When I felt all alone with no where to turn, God kept me. When I was lost and wandering searching for love and looking to be rescued from the pain I felt so deep, God showed up and showered me with His unconditional love. When I was faced with oppossition and adversity, God taught me how to war. When I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, God would not let me and my weakness was made perfect in His strength. When I did not know which way to turn, God led me with His Spirit. When I lacked peace and joy, God comforted me with His word. When I took a wrong turn, God never left me or forsook me. When I was rejected by man (people), God reminded me of His protection as my loving Father. When I did not know who I could make it another day, God assured me that it would be okay because all things would work together for my good.


What are you thankful for today? In 2019, how has God shown up in your life? We can start with the fact that He woke you up THIS morning, that you have the opportunity to see another day. But seriously, when you sit back and reflect, are you in awe of God's goodness? It is so easy to take for granted the things that He does for us daily but we should make it a daily habit, a daily routine, to give thanks.

A thankful heart will supercede any negative thoughts and thought patterns. Giving thanks unto the Lord, because He is good and His love endures forever. You see, it is not about what He has done for us but it is giving thanks for who He is. What would your life look like if God had not shown up in your situation or circumstance? What would your life be like if the Source had not blessed you with resources to navigate day to day activities? This holiday season, do not lose focus of what really matters and do not lose focus of who really matters. 

Be grateful and thankful for where you are in life right now. It could always be a lot worse. 

Peace and blessings to you all,

Sheena M.


Self-Sabotage: the why behind it and how to conquer it

1. What exactly is self-sabotage?

When behavior is self sabotaging it will create problems in the person's life and interfere with day to day activities and goals. Sabotage destroys or undermines something, covertly...and is directed toward one's self. One of the key reasons individuals self-sabotage is often due to a lack of self-esteem (feelings of worthlessness, feelings or beliefs that you do not deserve what you are trying to attain, or even self-hatred). Thoughts and feelings like these lead to negative and harmful self talk, which in return fuels your fears and self-sabotaging behaviors. "Self" sabotage is used when destructive behavior is directed towards self and is a reinforcer of negative behaviors/feelings or thoughts. It stems from anxiety, worthlessness and anger most times. The lower a persons self-esteem is, the higher the risk of self-sabotage. Low self-esteem often leads to negative self talk where you begin to speak feelings of inadequancy over yourself. Reinforcing negative thought patterns, and toxic behaviors, more often than not, leads to delays in your destiny, feelings of increased guilt and shame and a tarnishing to your reputation and how people view you. 


2. How to conquer self sabotage:

Be honest with yourself. If there have been opportunties that you have prayed for, waited seasons for and when they come, you always manage to think the worse and make the worse out of the opportunity-you may have issues with self-sabotage. Acceptance is the first step. Accept that you could use some help building up your confidence, seeing and knowing you are worthy and understanding that God loves you, thinks highly of you and wants the absolute best for you.

Once you accept that some of your behaviors and thoughts could be self-sabotaging, it is then time to RECOGNIZE the behaviors. At this stage you have to look within and ask yourself some hard questions: are there goals that you have set but you never accomplish them? Do you have little to no motivation, for things that you know are really important? Are you easily dissatisfied? Do you procrastinate and put off making decisions in certain areas? Begin to take inventory of YOU and your life. Begin to identify patterns and cycles that do not serve you justice, that do not coincide with who you truly are. 

Part of taking inventory of self requires one to take a look, a serious look, at your emotions and beginning to understand them and start managing them. Self-sabotaging behaviors often stem from feelings of anxiety or extreme worry,  anger, and worthlessness. Your emotional responses are a byproduct of your thoughts. If you continuously think negative and toxic thoughts then your emotionality will follow suite, if unchecked. Always try to manage your emotions so that you do not commit or fall hostage to behaviors that can lead to negative consequences. Check your emotions before they get out of control. 

As I stated above, before the emotion happens, there is usually a thought. The emotion, that led to the negative and/or toxic,  self-sabotaging behavior, was more than likely caused by a negative or irriational thought. Be mindful of what you say to yourself. Negative self-talk can lead to negative and toxic emotions. Know the facts before you speak a thing and ask yourself, "is what I am believing rational?" Be aware of what you say to yourself when you are engaging in self sabotaging behavior. 

As you begin to become aware of the negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, that trigger self-sabotage, you can better challenge them. Form a new habit: challenge negative thinking with logical, positive affirmations, positive self talk. No longer assume...turn assumptions around and gain perspective...stop assuming. Positive self talk and thinking positively about what you can accomplish, what you can do, who you can be, where you can go, and all you can achieve will lead to a new behaviors-healthy behaviors. You must remind yourself that you can do all things, all things through Christ, who strengthens you (mentally, physically, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually). When your gifts, talents,  skills, abilities, beliefs, and behaviors are aligned, you will begin to create the mental, emotional and physical states necessary to do anything you put your mind to and everything that you were created to do. Start with your thoughts....if you can manage and get a handle on your thoughts and then your emotions, your behavior/s will soon follow. Begin to restructure your thoughts.

It starts with you. The change that you want to see, starts with YOU! What can you say to yourself, about yourself that is positive or encouraging? What small goals can you set on your way to achieving the bigger goal-this will build self confidence? Can you change the way you look at the situation and the people that are involved? Is it another route that you can take to get to your desired outcome? Begin to look at it from a different perspective-you can conquer self sabotage by monitoring your thoughts, feelings, beliefs about yourself and others, and by challenging every thought, feeling and behavior that stands between you and your destiny.


Peace and Blessings to you all,

Sheena M. 









Wow! Can you believe it. In just a few days we will be entering into a new decade. 2020!!! As we come to a close on 2019 and the decade, let's begin to take inventory of our year, the past 5 years and then the past 10 years. Did you accomplish all that you hoped for? Did you achieve everything that you set out to achieve; did you reach a new level in your purpose; did you solve that problem that you were created to solve; did you step into the fullness of who you are called to be in this season; did you take the time out to heal from that past situation that was designed to throw you completely off course; did you forgive yourself for past mistakes; have you forgiven those who you feel have wronged you; have you forgiven God; what about your parents, can you now see that they did the best they could, with the tools that they had? Take inventory. Is there any heart and mind work that you need to clean up before we step into a new decade, a new year, that is full of so much potential and endless possibilites.


Earlier this month, as I was looking back over the last couple of months of this year, I had an unction, an inner impression (the Holy Spirit) leading me and guiding me to take inventory of this past year. Were there some things that I could have done differently in some situations? Were there people that I needed to forgive? Were there opportunties that I missed out on because of my character? This required me to look at me. How uncomfortable right? Often times we want so badly to be able to point the finger at everyone else, while truly missing out on the character work and the inner work that takes place when we decide to look at who we have control over, OURSELVES. As uncomfortable as it may seem, when we decide to do our work, and look within, this opens a door for new levels of healing to take place and to become fully aware of what is truly in our hearts. So often we want new levels, new opportunities, new connections, new houses, new cars, new stuff (insert whatever your stuff is that you desire), not realizing that sometimes we are not really ready for the things we truly desire. There is so much revelation that can be exposed about you when you decide to look at you. You might think your heart is pure but when you step back and actually look within.....

This is by no means intended to bring forth condemnation or any type of hopelessness, as we all fall short, DAILY...this is however an opportunity to step back and look at self and reflect on this past year, and truly look at self and see our areas of weakness as opportunities to grow, develop and become. No one is perfect. We are all perfectly flawed human beings. However, in order to access the doors of greatness that we are called to, self work has to take place. There has to be a certain level of soul work in order to get to the next. Soul work that will promote growth and character and also soul work that leads to new levels of humility and pureness. 

2020 is truly a prophetic year. Think about it. Vision equates to 20/20. When one is said to have perfect eye sight, "VISION," they are referenced to have 20/20 vision. 20/20 vision. What does that mean to you and most importantly, for you? Let's take a look, not from our normal, fleshy eyes, but let's take a different look...from our spiritual eyes. What do you see? Do you see yourself starting that non-profit organization? Do you see yourself writing that book? Do you see your intercessory prayers being answered and souls set free? Do you see yourself helping the poor and the helpless? Do you see peace in your family? Do you see peace and rest in your soul and in your mind? Do you see yourself going to counseling for anger management? Do you see your walls falling down so God can send people who will truly love you and not take advantatge of you? Do you see your kids thriving in school? Do you see health and wealth for all of your loved ones, family and friends? Do you see God sending a purpose partner that will accept you just as you are? Do you see that ministry being multiplied and touching and saving souls all over the nation? Do you see yourself as a new parent giving birth to a healthy baby? Do you see the chains being broken off of the oppressed? Do you see depression and mental illness lifted and binded from your family lineage? Do you see disease dismantled from your loved ones? Do you see the captives set free? Do you see the impossible becoming possible with God? WHAT DO YOU SEE? What are you believing God for in 2020? LOOK NOW!!! You do no have to wait until 2020 to see what God has in store for you. Ask Him NOW. Commune with The Father NOW and see what His plans are for YOU, your family, your kids, your church, your business, your friends, etc. He is waiting to hear from you. He wants to show you the endless possibilites and the endless opportunities that He has lined up for YOU. Will you seek Him or will you continue to look at the years to come, through your eyes? Your eyes that can so easily deceive you; your eyes that desire and go after what they want to see? Why not try it differently this decade? Why not WRITE THE VISION AND MAKE IT PLAIN. 

You still have time. Look back to take inventory, but do not stay there. You look back to see the experiences and then pull from them, the lessons...then MOVE FORWARD. See what you need to work on, soul work is continuous work, but always keep moving forward. 2020 is going to bring with it so much opportunity but when the opportunity presents itself, if you are not ready, it will pass you by. CLEAN UP. Begin with your thoughts, filling your mind with the TRUTH, about YOU, your life, your identity, your why/purpose. Also check your heart. What are your motives looking like. Why do you want the things you desire. Who are you serving daily. Are your daily actions and deeds selfish and unsacrificial or giving and obedient to what God has asked of YOU? How much time are you spending with God? All relationships require QUALITY TIME. In order for there to be natural manifestations in your life, there is always first, spiritual breakthrough and manifestion, first. Increase your prayer life. Challenge yourself, spend more time with the Father, starting now, and watch how your life shifts. 

You still have time. Do not allow what has happened to you these past few months, this past year, the past 5 years, the past decade, to throw you off course. YOU STILL HAVE TIME. But it starts with YOU making a choice and then a daily choice, to CHOOSE LIFE. The time is TODAY. Why delay when you can CHOOSE TODAY. Step over fear and anxiety and CHOOSE TODAY. Those buried dreams are being resurrected RIGHT NOW. That spirit of heaviness is being LIFTED RIGHT NOW. That fear and doubt is bound RIGHT NOW...all in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus. 

So again I ask you... What is your vision for 2020? Can you see it clearly? Is it cloudy or clear? Do the work now, plant the seeds, and reap the harvest...it will be plentiful and full. I encourage you on this day, to take inventory of this past year (and decade) and seek the Lord for what He has in store for you, for 2020. He is waiting to hear from YOU and He wants to guide you and help you. Do not let the door of 2019 close, before you wrie the vison for 2020. I am rooting for you. There are great things in store for you and your family. Do the work, stay the course, and keep going. God sees you. God loves you, beloved. 

Peace and Blessings to all,

Sheena M.